Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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