So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize