i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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