Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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