i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize