That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
