My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
