How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
