just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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