a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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