I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
