32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
