I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
