omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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