Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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