Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize