piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
