Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
