Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
