i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize