i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
