remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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