my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
