It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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