i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I still have a little drunk in my system
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
