If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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