I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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