marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
