you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize