did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
