New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
