Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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