if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
