i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
