Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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