Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
