get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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