Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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