i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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