That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
