So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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