people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
