i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize