It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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