Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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