ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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