I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
