No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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