i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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