i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
