Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
