Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you inspire me to be a worse person
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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