I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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