i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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