I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
