Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
