nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
