that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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