Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
