I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
