Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
