Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Terrible idea I love it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
