I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we made out on top of his cat.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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