I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize