I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
no, he came in my armpit
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
