Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
