I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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