If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
