home. puking in laundry basket.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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