she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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