Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
