A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
