Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
