Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
