You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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