His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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